Welcome to the Dented Arcade!

Welcome, to the Dented Arcade! Man, I have been rolling that little attention-grabber in my head for a while, I hope you liked it. I think it perfectly encapsulates what Dented Arcade Magazine is all about.

I will admit, the idea for the Dented Arcade was practically dead. Before I had even decided on a name, the concept was stagnant, and I had been dwelling on whether or not to kill the whole idea off before it had even had a chance to exist. Then the name came to me, and shortly after, the first two lines of that little poem popped into my head. With those words came a whole new air of mystery and intrigue. Suddenly, the Dented Arcade wasn’t just a magazine, it was an ethereal place— a meta-physical realm of forgotten youth, that can only be reached when we dive into games that existed in the past. For us older gamers, it’s a remembrance of musty carpets, full of crushed popcorn and sticky with spilled soda. It’s the smell of cigarette smoke, the deafening volume of every arcade machine competing for attention, the chaotic rattle of five dollars in quarters spilling into a coin tray. For some, the first five seconds of Super Mario’s theme song might trigger the smell of Saturday-morning Froot Loops, or the warm crackle of a fireplace on Christmas morning in 1986. Of course, these are the feelings I can attest to, for other generations the nostalgia may vary. But one thing is always certain: for every gamer there is something that sends them back to their earliest gaming memories. Whether it is a favorite game, theme music, a sound-byte (“Cowabunga!”) or even a boot-up screen, we all have that thing that transports us to the Dented Arcade.

So why the word “Dented?” Dented Arcade leans toward those cabinets that we played in the arcades of our youth— scuffed, scratched, peeled, banged, burned, and yes, even dented. Yet, with a little bit of maintenance, they kept on going. It’s also not a stretch to say that at my current age, I also feel banged, scratched, scuffed, and dented. Perhaps I’m even a little dented in the head. You’ll see.

So what is the goal of Dented Arcade?

Dented Arcade is intended to be an ever-green magazine. By that I mean it will talk about games, past and present, and not focus on the state of the industry (which is kinda crap now anyways), nor any gaming “news.” Whether you load up Issue #5 the day it releases, or two years later, it will still be an enjoyable read and still have relevant information. I may do a review of a game that releases close to an issue’s publication date, but I’m really not focused on it. The whole point is to enjoy gaming, have fun with it, celebrate the things that we loved, bitch about the things that we didn’t, and try our best to avoid all the drama and bullshit that seems to have encapsulated the gaming industry (and those that comment on it). Expect parody and satire, rants, photos, stupid conspiracy theories, commentaries, as well as bits of gaming history and (hopefully) stories from other personalities from around the gaming sphere. Expect some profanity, because self-censorship has never been my strong suit, and probably some skin. No nudity, but I grew up on 80’s barbarian flicks, and I’m never one to shy away from a loincloth or chain-mail bikini. In fact, I prefer them. I’d wear a loincloth to work if they’d let me.

The Dented Arcade is a timeless album, where past and present sing together in beautiful harmony. It’s a celebration of gaming across all platforms and generations, limited only by what exists.

I really hope you all enjoy what we create here. Nothing would make me happier than to grow the magazine, and maybe even print it one day. To see a spread of issues sitting on someone’s shelf would be a dream come true.

But enough of the sales pitch, let’s get on with it, shall we?

Step right up, don’t be afraid!
Everyone’s welcome at the Dented Arcade
Our lights are a-flicker, our carpets are frayed
Cobwebs now cover what once was displayed
But the glow of our screens never shall fade
In the darkened halls of the Dented Arcade

It’s here we remember every game that we played
The loot that we looted, the demons we slayed
Line them all up in a retro parade
So forever they live in the Dented Arcade!

A note on the usage of A.I. on the website, and in the magazine:

Those of you with eagle eyes probably noticed the cover image is A.I.-generated. You’ve probably already let me know your distaste for it. I don’t want to rely on generative A.I., but unfortunately, it’s going to be a thing for now. I realize that’s a huge point of contention for a lot of people, and I get it. I worked in graphic design for a long time, and I understand the havoc that A.I. is wreaking in the industry. That said, the page layouts will all be done by hand, by myself or my wife. All of the writing will be original. The gaming screen-shots will be captured from my own gameplay. Old promo material and marketing from retro games will be used when talking about that stuff, and I’ll annotate copyrights where necessary. Headers, logos, icons, etc., will be designed by myself or my wife, unless I need help with something that I just can’t seem to nail down. Both my wife and I worked in this industry for a long time, long before A.I., and we are quite capable.

However, I will use Gen A.I. when I need to, especially for character art and some environmental images, as well as website thumbnail art. This will hopefully be rare, as I don’t particularly like how it looks. I have no illusions about gen A.I. for character art— it sucks. I’ve been tinkering with it for a minute, and if you just need a generic image to get an idea across, it works well enough. But if you need something specific, it’s just straight-up retarded. No A.I. (that I have access to, anyway) can substitute for an actual human artist that can convey and understand specific instructions or specific poses. A.I. will only get you so close before it starts tripping over its own feet like a drunk toddler. Not to mention there are things it will flat-out refuse to render, whether it is against the software’s own TOS, or it’s just too stupid to understand. Thus, I would absolutely LOVE to have my own personal human artist capable of illustrating anything the magazine requires. But until the time comes when my subscriber base affords me said talented artist, I will need to use A.I. to generate some art to fill out some of the remaining content on the page— whether that is an original or pre-existing character, or some basic environmental art, such as a lone arcade unit at the back of a dark room. While I would love to have a human artist give me what I need, for now that image is going to be A.I. generated.

That’s just the reality of it for now.